We are all connected in some way or another – this isn’t just the malarkey we find scattered across motivational social media pages and adorning tacky decorations in your local craft store, but a legitimate fact. While we may be a planet of over eight billion people (and that’s not even accounting for double that amount that have lived before us), every one of us can be traced back to the same ancestral circumstances. It’s a daunting and beautiful concept, and one that can inspire both an existential crisis and a sense of genuine wonder in those willing to embrace this very stark reality. One of the more recent attempts to examine this subject is In the Blink of an Eye, the second live-action directorial outing of Andrew Stanton, who is better known for helming some of Pixar’s most acclaimed animated films, such as Toy Story 2 and WALL-E, peaks for the studio produced when they were at the apex of their craft. Needless to say, his efforts in this film are nothing if not absolutely dismal, reminding us why some filmmakers are better-suited to a specific niche, rather than trying to over-extend themselves to the point of ridicule. In this instance, we are introduced to a group of three characters, all of whom exist in radically different timelines: one is a prehistoric family (implied to be the final clan of Neanderthals), another a researcher and her partner in the present day, and the third a scientist sent away from Earth after its destruction, setting off to colonise another planet in the hopes of rebuilding humanity. If this sounds broad and tacky, it is because that is the exact issue with this film, which proves to be a hopelessly bland, deeply unlikable and frankly a perfect example of why the relentless desire to be different is one of the least-endearing qualities about contemporary mainstream cinema, since it very rarely (if ever) contains anything even vaguely worth our time, as made very clear by this absolute disaster of a film, the rare instance of a work perhaps being too ambitious for its own good.

The central thesis statement of In the Blink of an Eye is that all of humanity is somehow connected across time, space and circumstance. This is not in itself a poor idea – in fact, there are most certainly some films that have examined this exact premise with a lot more impact, since it has a lot of promise, being undeniably fascinating. However, a film that is clearly capable of inspiring both existential dread and genuine wonder needs to have something more going on beneath the surface, particularly since it is dealing with the idea that every person is part of a vast chain of existence that stretches back thousands (if not millions) of years into both the past and future, inciting conversations around legacy, survival and the very nature of what it means to be human. This is not a bad concept, but unfortunately, In the Blink of an Eye approaches them with such overwhelming simplicity that it loses almost all of its impact. Rather than examining the complexity of human connection, the director reduces it to a few sentimental affirmations that are absolutely hollow, despite touching on a subject that should’ve been far more inspiring, turning profound conversations on evolution and mortality into little more than a series of slogans. The three timelines are supposed to represent humanity’s past, present and future, but the symbolism is so frankly obvious that it doesn’t even feel like any of these people are actually human, being paper-thin caricatures, vessels for the film’s heavy-handed message. Instead of allowing these connections to emerge naturally through meaningful storytelling, it repeatedly underlines them through predictable parallels and emotional manipulation that say very little. What could’ve been a vibrant exploration of humanity’s place within the universe instead becomes an exercise in self-congratulatory optimism, every philosophical question being softened to the point of being almost nauseating, since there’s no sincerity behind even a single frame of this film.

These themes, as heavy-handed as they may be, could’ve at least been the foundation for something partially interesting, had it not been made in such a way that absolutely every ounce of artistic integrity is extinguished. An appropriate way to describe In the Blink of an Eye is as the most expensive credit card commercial ever produced, a ninety-minute attempt at implying that we are all united, regardless of temporal or geographical boundaries. It’s beyond trite, and the execution not only fails to elevate these predictable ideas; it frankly makes them even worse, since the approach Stanton takes is beyond overwrought. Stanton ultimately seems to be directing with complete emotional certainty, believing that the audience cannot be trusted to interpret or feel anything for ourselves, and rather than believing in the strength of the material, the director constantly repeats the same emotional beats through lingering shots, swelling music and obvious visual criticism, as if the audience has to be handed an explanation for every decision. It ultimately seems to be desperate to convince us that its ideas are profound, instead of allowing them to emerge naturally through the characters and the narrative, with sentimentality so relentless that moments clearly meant to inspire awe or heartbreak become emotionally quite corrupt, if not outright manipulative, as if the audience is being instructed on how to respond. The execution of In the Blink of an Eye mistakes earnestness for sincerity, reducing what could’ve been a genuinely moving meditation on humanity into something that feels calculated and artificial. For something trying to be articulate in how it contemplates the nature of humanity, the film feels smothering in how every philosophical idea has to be accompanied by the most trite, obvious techniques imaginable, stripping the story of any subtletly or mystery, and by the time it reaches its emotional climax, we are exhausted past the point of giving the film any further attention.

Nestled right at the core of In the Blink of an Eye are actors who are known to be wonderfully talented and versatile, making us wonder if something was missing from the final product that initially drew them to this project, or if there was some debt that they owed, since their presence here is nothing short of inexplicable. The family of neanderthals in the segment set in the past are played by Tanaya Beatty and Jorge Vargas as the parents, who disappear under layers of makeup that make them seem like characters plucked directly out of Saturday Night Live, and their performances are not any better. The realisation that this is supposed to be a sympathetic view of our early ancestors, rather than a comedic one, somehow immediately pulls us out of the narrative and makes the nature of this film quite clear, especially in how it seemingly tries to be complex, when nothing could ultimately be further from the truth. The central portion is led by Rashida Jones and Daveed Diggs, who do their best, but cannot help being stuck in the dullest parts of the film (which is saying something), forced to play the most uninteresting characters that may have the most sincere emotional payoff, but one that barely even registers since the character development is almost non-existent and frankly bordering on negligent. Finally, Kate McKinnon has the unenviable task of being the only actor present for most of her segment, and while she also puts in a lot of work, we simply cannot excuse a film that extinguishes every bit of what makes her so talented – she’s not allowed to be all that funny or compelling, and instead sinks under layers of the tackiest and most frustrating dialogue imaginable, despite her best efforts. No one in this film comes off particularly well, and the overall product feels like a complete waste of our time, which is a perfect summary of nearly every aspect of this entirely misguided film.

Over the years, I have tended to avoid being unnecessarily harsh or crude, since I wholeheartedly believe virtually every film has at least something worth praising, or at least those that are not immoral. However, there is no other way to describe In the Blink of an Eye than as absolute navel-gazing nonsense, a complete waste of time and resources, both those that went into the creation of this atrocity of a film, and those that the audience is forced to expend while making their way through something that holds very little merit outside of the most superficial, bland attempt at humanistic filmmaking we’ve seen this decade. Calling it the worst film of the past ten years may seem somewhat inappropriate, considering there are examples of filmmakers who peddled bigotry and exploitation which cannot be excused – but as far as films produced by a major studio, In the Blink of an Eye scrapes the very bottom of the barrel in a way that actually has to be seen to be believed. The most ironic aspect of this film is that, for something built around a concept as inherently moving as humanity’s shared existence, we’d never expect to be handed something this emotionally vacant and reductive, where even the most fascinating of ideas seem entirely misguided. Rather than inspiring us to reflect on our place in the vast continuum of human history, Stanton’s film simply becomes a self-congratulatory exercise in false profundity. The interconnected nature of humanity deserves a film that is more curious and humble, where genuine insights interweave with complex ideas. Instead, what we get is a film that lacks any cohesion or nuance, is built around a confusing philosophical statement, and lacks any real ambition. There’s an undeniably beautiful version of this story contained somewhere beneath these manipulative, vapid layers, but through poor execution and some misplaced arrogance, In the Blink of an Eye is nothing more than a hollow exercise in self-importance, and one that makes far too many mistakes to actually deserve the benefit of the doubt or an ounce of our time.