We all long to find that one person with whom we are able to spend the rest of our lives. Whether or not one subscribes to the idea of soulmates, there is some value in the idea of encountering that specific individual that is our perfect match, or at least as close to it as we can get. However, the fear for many is that time erodes that excitement, and the spark can get lost after a while, and without that sense of genuine love for one another, the idea of a lost love can be quite daunting. What is even more upsetting is the idea of a couple being able to keep that passion alive, but nonetheless finding themselves drifting apart as a result of illness. Currently, over 55 million people are living with dementia, and Alzheimer’s Disease has become a challenge for many individuals, as treatment is less about cure and more about slowing the progress of the condition. The subject of Maite Alberdi’s incredible documentary The Eternal Memory (Spanish: La memoria infinita)is someone who was unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with the condition, Chilean broadcaster and cultural critic Augusto Góngora, who suffered with the disease for over a decade before ultimately passing away just under a year ago. The director set out to tell his story, which she examines through his relationship with his longtime partner Paulina Urrutia, an acclaimed actor and political activist, who spent over twenty years with Góngora as both a personal and professional partner, who who witnessed his decline, standing by his side as he battled this debilitating disease that ultimately ended his life. A very simple documentary with a clear and concise vision, The Eternal Memory is an immense and compelling achievement, and the intricate details with which the director captures the relationship between these two individuals are simply extraordinary in ways that we cannot comprehend until we witness them firsthand. Each moment is beautiful and poetic and carries an immense meaning that immediately makes The Eternal Memory one of the year’s most moving films and a documentary that truly understands each nuance of its subject.

Alberdi is a filmmaker and documentarian who crafts her films around subjects that fascinate her, but she always chooses unique angles from which to approach these stories. When it came time to plot out the overall structure of The Eternal Memory, she understood implicitly and without any hesitation that this topic needed to be broached with nothing but the most sincere compassion. Crafting a film around any disease or condition can be a challenge, and its difficult to avoid making it exploitative, especially when it is designed as an intimate documentary that depends on a lot of home video footage, as well as giving the director access to this couple in some of their more intimate moments as they battle the effects of Góngora’s condition. Yet, there is not a single moment in The Eternal Memory where it feels like Alberdi is overstepping the mark or going beyond the sometimes ambigious boundaries between what is acceptable to show, and what is frankly just exploitation of a vulnerable individual. Part of this comes in the clear mutual respect between the director and her subjects – the former approaches them with such sensitivity and makes her intentions very clear, while the latter open themselves up to someone who clearly cares enough about their story to offer them the security that their story will be told honestly and with extraordinary tact and nuance, which cannot always be said for a lot of documentaries that tackle similar subject matter. There is something very compelling about how this film captures the story of this couple, and presents it with such nuance and genuine compassion – this is perhaps the key to the overall success of the film, since its willingness to have the difficult conversations in a way that puts agency in the hands of the subjects themselves (who are free to choose what they share) is quite remarkable and proves that there is still empathy in a lot of contemporary documentary filmmaking, a genre that has steadily grown to be more objective, but clearly can still be capable of genuine compassion when it is required, as made abunduntly clear with this film.

The idea of giving a sense of agency to the subjects is a simple but intriguing way of telling such a story – after all, Alberdi is merely an outsider that has taken interest in the lives of Góngora and Urrutia, and obviously lacks a lot of the specific knowledge of their relationship, and therefore she needed to craft this film in such a way that the story was guided by the subjects themselves, rather than designed by the director. The result is a film that is very loosely structured – we meet the couple in media res, and outside of a few moments of exposition (done through archival footage and a few sparse comments about how they met and fell in love), the film doesn’t dwell too heavily on the past in terms of establishing their relationship or story. Unlike many documentaries on Alzheimer’s, The Eternal Memory isn’t designed to show the progress of the disease – it is natural that this will factor into the story in some way, but the film is never focused on showing Góngora’s decline in vivid detail. Instead, it is constructed as a series of moments shared between the couple – some of them are simply snapshots of their everyday life, focused on their seemingly inconsequential conversations, some humourous while others are banal. Then there are the moments in which the film addresses the disease, but even this is done tactfully, and without it being the central focus in the sense that it weighs the film done too immensely. Alberdi wanted to carve a story that gives us unfurnished, honest glimpses into the lives of these characters as they spend their time together, not knowing where their destination will be, but rather making the most of the journey. This is a simple but incredibly effective way of telling such a story, and the intricate detail with which Alberdi explores their relationship is incredible, and yet never feels like she is peering voyeuristically into their lives, but rather capturing a genuine love for one another.

It is at this final point that we eventually realize what The Eternal Memory is actually about. On the surface, we may think this is going to be a tear-jerking visual memoir about a couple struggling with a debilitating disease that will eventually be the cause of their separation from one another. This is true – the Alzheimer’s plot is unfortunately central to the narrative – but it isn’t actually the main propellant of this film. Instead, we discover (to our immense delight), that Alberdi set out to make a film that functions less as a harrowing depiction of disease, and more as an uplifting, heartfelt story of a relationship between two people who love one another with all their hearts. Once we reach those emotional final moments, we start to believe that no two people have ever loved each other in the way that Góngora and Urrutia do, their nearly 25-year relationship being the definition of maintaining that spark. Understandably, a lot of what we see in this film is Urrutia knowingly trying to make the best of every moment she has with her husband, knowing that his time with her is limited, so anyone in that position is going to be far more attentive to their relationship. Yet, it is never a case of hammering in how much they love each other, and more a matter of simply witnessing their relationship. In an industry focused on the concept of falling in love, we don’t often see stories that focus on people that have been together for decades, but yet still seem to fall in love with their partner each day. It’s a beautiful testament to their love for one another, and the film is a superb examination of their relationship, showing it vividly and with such joyfulness, that it often softens the emotional blow that comes with the more sombre aspects of their story.

The Eternal Memory is a multilayered film with many different ideas woven into the fabric of what appears to be quite a simple documentary about the harrowing effects of a disease like Alzheimer’s, and a lot of what is explored throughout the film can be quite challenging. It is an extremely emotional film, and there isn’t any shortage of moments in which it feels like it is bordering on being deeply depressing. Yet, this is only an estimation we get based on a cursory glance, with the actual film being a masterful, complex and beautiful examination of the relationship between two people who are truly, madly and deeply in love, and are doing everything they can to cherish each moment, knowing that there will come a point where they will no longer be able to be at the other’s side. Unfortunately, the burden of knowledge means that we are aware that this fairytale romance came to an end a lot sooner than we expected, since Góngora sadly passed away only a few months after this film was completed, meaning that The Eternal Memory acts as both a love letter to his relationship with his partner, and an obituary to his incredible career. It is a hauntingly beautiful and deeply moving exploration of the relationship between these two people as they navigate various challenges that are presented to them – and the heartfelt humour combines with the genuine emotions to create something genuinely complex and endearing, and proves to be an absolutely essential piece of filmmaking that is poetic, honest and undeniably compelling, which is often all we need from a film that tackles such intimidating but poignant subject matter in an authentic, compassionate and meaningful manner.