Being a parent is not easy, and anyone who says otherwise is either the recipient of some unusually good luck or completely unaware of the challenges that come with raising children. It doesn’t even require having children of your own to recognise that this is not a particularly smooth journey, since it is almost universally acknowledged that it can be excruciatingly difficult to take on these responsibilities. As a result, we’re frequently witness to several works every year (across every possible medium) that attempt to explore the challenges and triumphs that come with being a parent – and one of the best recent examples comes in the form of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, the second directorial outing by Mary Bronstein (who last directed a film in 2008, marking this as her triumphant return to the medium after her terrific debut Yeast), which is built around exploring the subject of motherhood. The story focuses on Linda, who has to balance her professional career with her duties as a mother to a child suffering from a mysterious illness, something she has to do almost entirely by herself as a result of her husband being away from home for months at a time. Gradually sinking into a state of psychosis, Linda is desperate for some kind of reprieve – drugs and alcohol can numb the pain, but their effect is limited, especially when she and her daughter are forced to vacate their home after their roof collapses. Linda wanders through life, searching for answers to questions she didn’t even want to ask, but has been forced to do as a result of the hand she has been dealt, and it doesn’t take long before she is standing on the verge of complete collapse, unable to get help (especially from her apathetic therapist), realising that she must either reconfigure her entire life or just embrace the temptation to leap into the void that is gradually closing in on her. A brilliant, sardonic blend of satire and psychological drama, helmed by someone whose originality and willingness to push boundaries create a phenomenal vision, and anchored by arguably the year’s best performance, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is a staggering achievement, and something that truly needs to be seen to be understood.

It is easy to lose track of the sheer number of works that revolve around the trials and tribulations of motherhood. It is indeed a very popular topic, and one that seemingly has an infinite number of interpretations and thematic avenues that can be extensively explored. The aspects that If I Had Legs I’d Kick You focus on revolve not around a good mother or a bad mother, but rather someone who exists somewhere in the middle – Linda is someone who does her best, which is all she has to offer most of the time, which lays the foundation for a blisteringly funny and profoundly bleak exploration of her journey through the various challenges that come with being a parent, a responsibility far greater and more important than anything she has ever had to deal with in her professional life, which gradually begins to become less of a priority for her, albeit not by choice. Bronstein is fascinated by the idea of composing what is essentially a wall-to-wall analysis of motherhood, taken from the perspective of someone who is consistently driven to her wit’s end by factors usually outside of her control – but because she is in the position of being a parent, she is to blame for all the challenges she faces, while the successes are credited to those who surround her. If her daughter misses her weight goal by a kilogram or two, Linda is painted as a neglectful mother, but if she makes some progress in her recovery, it’s the doctor who is celebrated. Linda is blamed for her roof collapsing, but it’s her husband lauded for his efforts to get it repaired. The subtext is difficult to miss, which is precisely the quality that makes the film so fascinating, since it tackles motherhood from several different angles, never dwelling on one idea for too long, but rather exploring several experiences that are common to the motherhood experience, arranging them in a frantic and disquieting order, which in turn underlines just how immensely intimidating this film can be from time to time, especially when it becomes clear that it isn’t interested in providing easily digestible solutions to some universal problems. As a portrait of motherhood, the film is extraordinarily complex, and Bronstein deserves credit for her ability to construct something so profoundly daring while still being able to communicate ideas that are not always associated with the core themes that drive the film.

The theme of control is actually central to If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, and if we momentarily step away from the theme of motherhood (which is central to the narrative, but not the only aspect that demands our focus), we see just how precise of a satire this film is when it comes to developing on its core ideas beyond the more obvious themes. Linda is a woman who finds her life falling apart as a result of her inability to take command of everything. At first, she tries to be in control, doing what she can to maintain order as far as possible. However, when it becomes clear that this isn’t working, she recedes into a place of extraordinary despair, coming to realise that she has a much weaker grasp on her own life than she had initially realised. Her journey is defined by her desire to regain some sense of direction, which becomes increasingly more difficult once she learns that there isn’t anywhere for her to go, both physically and psychologically. Bronstein draws from many exceptional character-driven dramas about complex women undergoing crises of identity – there’s a lot of A Woman Under the Influence and Persona (with filmmakers like John Cassavetes, Ingmar Bergman and Lars von Trier being inspirations, even if unintentionally)in every frame of the film, which not only serves as narrative and conceptual inspiration, but allows Bronstein the opportunity to create a film that is in dialogue with these works, and the many others that have followed fragile individuals as they attempt to make sense of an increasingly chaotic world. There is something to be said about If I Had Legs I’d Kick You as an exercise in psychological analysis – the director is clearly fascinated by the idea of telling a story about a character who is teetering dangerously close on a complete breakdown, where her days are spent ferociously dancing on the edge of a volcano, knowing that the eruption is imminent, but gradually accepting the ensuing destruction, and in creating a character like Linda, Bronstein can make some shocking and profound statements not only about the nature of motherhood or the challenges of being a woman in modern times, but of the human condition as a whole, a striking and unsettling portrait of someone who has lost her grip on reality so intensely that nothing seems to be able to snap her back into reality, regardless of how hard she tries to lead a normal, consistent life.

The extent to which Bronstein was inspired by her own life and experiences with motherhood when it came to crafting this film remains to be seen (although there’s anecdotal evidence that certain scenes were based in reality, such as a particularly disturbing moment with a hamster), but it is clear that she does view Linda as something of a self-insert to a degree. As a result, we find that she is one of the most well-written, complex characters of the year, which can only emerge from a director willing to take some risks in how she develops her protagonist. If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is anchored by Rose Byrne, who not only agrees to take this journey alongside Bronstein, but to do so with such incredible commitment and willingness to surrender to an unconventional and frankly quite unsettling premise. There has never been any doubt that she is a remarkable performer – her approach to choosing roles has always been more about whether she can do justice to a character, regardless of what is required from her. Her skills at both comedy and drama stand her in good stead with this film, which is built around her ability to make even the most absurd and challenging moments feel wholeheartedly authentic, which is an extraordinary achievement in itself and certainly worth discussing in the context of how certain actors seem to be more well-equipped to handle such layered material. It seems like every time an actor is cast as a woman rapidly approaching a breakdown in an intense psychological drama, the comparisons to Gena Rowlands are inevitable – but Byrne is one of the few instances where it feels like earned praise rather than lazy criticism. There are many parallels between her performance and those delivered by some of the greatest actors of their generations, and while it may be a bit premature, it is difficult to imagine that she will not join them with this extraordinary depiction of a woman so desperate to cling onto whatever shred of sanity she can to maintain order, something she discovers is a fool’s errand. It’s staggeringly brilliant work from Byrne, who is not only fantastic on her own, but also when appearing across from her co-stars, which include Conan O’Brien in his first dramatic role (and anyone who wants further proof that comedians are sometimes capable of touching on the darkest recesses of the human condition would be wise to consider his grotesque, unsettling performance here), and A$AP Rocky, who is also unexpectedly quite compelling in a more serious part. Nevertheless, it’s Byrne who is the main attraction here, and her performance is nothing if not entirely stellar and arguably the best performance of the year by most metrics. 

While it may be difficult to believe based on the scope and nature of her performance, there is more to If I Had Legs I’d Kick You than just Byrne’s extraordinary commitment to the material – it’s extremely vital to the success of the film, but there are aspects that surround it that are worth mentioning in their own right as well. Bronstein is an extremely intriguing filmmaker – before this film, she resided in relative obscurity to those who aren’t wholeheartedly dedicated to every aspect of contemporary independent film (and even in that case, most people were likely more familiar with the work done by her creative and personal partner, Ronald Bronstein), which allows this film to be something of a discovery and perhaps the very definition of a breakthrough moment for someone who is remarkably skilled and has the potential to be a generation-defining voice based on the two films she has directed to date. The key to understanding this film is to do the opposite – If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is not a film that thrives on comprehension, but rather the act of surrendering to the madness that enshrouds – and often defines – this extraordinary piece of cinema. There is virtue in strangeness, which is something that the director recognises early on – the process of becoming a parent is a beautiful one, but also not particularly easy to navigate. The surreal touches that we find throughout this film are fascinating – Bronstein knows how to show enough restraint that she can communicate the disorientation that comes with being plunged into parenthood, but also does not allow this element to spiral out of control, preferring subtle touches of weirdness to reflect the uncanny experience of taking on these often discombobulating responsibilities. It’s not a comedy in the traditional sense, but there is a lot of humour in how the film is structured, with Linda’s journey through these unusual circumstances being filtered through a series of increasingly unsettling moments that reflect her innermost desires to just lead a normal life, which are consistently squandered by a continuous stream of misfortunes that range from the frustratingly trivial to the profoundly chaotic – and through all of this, Linda is forced to maintain her composure, realising that no one is going to relieve her of these duties, a lifetime commitment with seemingly no way out. It’s a wonderfully strange film, and Bronstein’s style is a perfect match for these ideas, leading to a film with a precise, cutting sense of humour and a unique aesthetic.

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is the rare kind of film that feels like both an introduction and a renewal, which applies to both the director and the star. While she has been working for well over a decade, Bronstein has not received the attention she deserves, which seems likely to change, considering this film is too large of an achievement for her not to pique the curiosity of the industry as a whole (whether or not she wants to leap back into the filmmaking process is not clear, but I’d suspect the emotional catharsis that came from telling this particular story is perhaps enough to make even the most resilient of voices keep their distance for a while – this is by no means an easy film), and her gifts as both a writer and visual stylist are very much a part of what makes this such a tremendously compelling work. Byrne, on the other hand, has been a vital presence in so many productions for nearly two decades, ranging from mainstream fare to independent and arthouse works, all of which highlight the fact that she is one of our most committed, unique performers and someone whose work deserves an abundance of credit. This is not a film that is particularly easy to describe, since while the story is relatively simple from a distance, it’s the sinister little nuances that make it so incredibly compelling. Discomfort is a powerful narrative tool when used well – making the audience shudder in horror over the most seemingly innocuous interactions is an incredible skill, and one that both Bronstein and Byrne find to be exceptionally valuable in telling a story to which many will likely relate, even if they may feel blessed to realise that, despite their own personal challenges with parenthood, that it never got quite as bad as it did for Linda, someone who we are surprised actually makes it to the end of the film intact (or rather the closest approximation of it), which leads to an enthralling, compelling dark comedy that uses uncomfortable situations and the most subversive approach to humour to tell this story, becoming a disquieting existential voyage into the mind of a woman who is only one small inconvenience away from complete collapse. A brilliant, daring and revealing film destined to become one of the most important depictions of motherhood ever committed to film, shrouded in ambiguity and creative subversion (including the abject refusal to conform to standards, never offering insights or explanations where they’re not necessary), If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is one of the year’s most provocative and engaging works.