At what point do we actually stand up to arguably the most powerful entertainment entity in current existence and demand that they improve the quality of their work? For over a decade, The Walt Disney Company has been engaged in the bewildering act of taking its cherished animated classics and remaking them into colourless, bland live-action adaptations that are about as deep as a puddle and as much of an inconvenience. With the exception of a couple that did try something new, they’re mostly bland and uninspired attempts to bring these stories to new generations, with the studio showing such sincere incredulity to the adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, seemingly lacking any self-reflection to know that their work was impeccable as it stood, and should have been entirely left untouched. The latest victim of this trend is actually the first animated feature film that Disney ever produced, with director Marc Webb (and a rogue’s gallery of writers, one of which has not even been credited as a result of how mangled her initial drafts were) being assigned to adapt Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, a film that kickstarted the studio’s reign of dominance, but which was not viewed with nearly enough reverence to be left alone, standing as a classic in its own right and not being even vaguely in need of another adaptation, especially now where the story has been subjected to countless wonderful versions as time has progressed. Snow White is a film that teeters dangerously close on being absolutely abysmal, with Webb (who is not untalented, having helmed a number of solid films in the past) struggling to find the right approach, and as a result defers creative choices to the already omnipresent studio, which we can view as the primary reason this film so rapidly falls off the rails, long before it even starts, one of the many aspects of this misguided film that practically beg for the viewer to overlook in the hopes of offering something even slightly meaningful in the process.

Disney finds themselves in a situation in which they’re criticized for one aspect, and any effort to change it for the sake of contemporary audiences is met with disdain. Snow White is primarily an attempt to rework the major aspects of the story, updating certain elements that are not viewed favourably by contemporary standards, and which the film (which was initially developed with a screenplay by Greta Gerwig, who has been ferocious in her commitment to examining feminism through engaging critically with different representations of women in the media) sets out to deconstruct. This is not the traditional story we would expect – the prince does not emerge out of nowhere to save the day, and Snow White does not exist for the sake of simply being a damsel in distress, patiently waiting for the moment she can be swept away by some dashing hero. It isn’t the first attempt to reconstruct classic stories with a more contemporary, subversive lens, but it does feel somewhat more notable here considering this is the rare revisionist text made by Disney themselves, rather than merely being based on the same loose set of themes. The iconic costumes and character designs are all still present, but are simply reworked to reflect the more modern perspective that this film seemed intent on emphasising throughout. Whether or not this works depends on the individual viewer – I suspect a lot of criticism for this version of Snow White has its roots in those who feel profoundly nostalgic about the original (and there are always going to be detractors who abhor a product for merely existing), but there is some merit in how the film intends to update the story while still keeping the same spirit, and even at its weakest moments, it still comes across as somewhat sincere in its intentions, and does at the very least deserve a chance, even if some of the elements are not entirely well-constructed or effective.

Disney has a tendency to cast actors who are more aligned with the zeitgeist more than those who they are convinced could effectively portray the roles, which has sometimes led to some surprising turns from unexpected sources, while in other instances it has been slightly tacky, especially when there is a cavernous gap between the initial casting and the eventual release, which can take several years. A few years ago, the casting of Rachel Zegler and Gal Gadot seemed like a relatively interesting choice – the former had skyrocketed to the public’s attention with her wonderful performance as Maria in West Side Story, and the latter was already a mainstay of the superhero genre, and was actively trying to expand her repertoire. Neither of the actors is necessarily a good fit for the roles, but there is a massive difference between them and their level of commitment. Zegler is very talented as a vocalist and has a unique persona, but not one that necessarily meshes with the role of Snow White – making the character a person of colour is an ambitious and very interesting choice, and certainly not the reason why her performance falls short. Instead, it’s the film’s unwillingness to develop the role beyond a one-dimensional caricature, almost as if Zegler is simply wearing a costume and going through the motions. Conversely, Gadot is a profoundly stiff, unconvincing actor whose entire ascent to the upper echelons of the industry remain puzzling – and her performance as the Evil Queen is best described as dastardly and deranged – this is an extremely poor portrayal, but yet she makes such bold choices, we find ourselves consistently entertained, even if we are laughing at her expense whenever she appears on screen. The complete lack of chemistry and the clear tension between them cannot be hidden by this film, and it is almost worth our time simply to see just how bizarre a film that is simultaneously miscast and lacklustre in its development of its characters transpires.

We can forgive the performances, since they’re at least compelling in the technical sense (in the case of Zegler), and so poorly-executed that we are always entertained (in terms of Gadot), but unfortunately these two are the only elements that inject even an ounce of life into Snow White, since nothing else is particularly memorable. The film is hideous – Webb and his team are extremely lacking when it comes to creating the world of this film, which not only fails to evoke the spirit of the original despite its best efforts, but comes across as extremely tacky and lifeless. Very rarely have we seen a film with this budget and access to so many stunning resources look this cheap, to the point where we have to wonder where the studio is funneling all of its efforts, since their work has yet to look this bad. Even the design of the seven dwarfs are ineffectual – in fact, they are plucked directly from the most nightmarish version of the uncanny valley (and I have yet to see a single good argument as to why seven actors with dwarfism could not have been cast in these roles – they cannot even use the excuse that the characters are stereotypical, since the entire film was overhauled to be a more socially-aware statement, which could have easily extended to the rest of the characters) – and we have to wonder to what extent the creative team were actually passionate about this material, or if they were simply going through the motions rather than giving an ounce more effort than they were required. It’s a poorly-made film that has a lack of any discernible charm behind it, and it shows in nearly every frame, which feels like an entirely unconvincing, overly dull attempt to revive a property that needed to be made by people who actually had an interest in the material, which was most certainly not the case here.

Snow White is a truly mixed bag of a film – at the best of times, it’s unnecessary, and at the worst, its a garbled, inconsistent mess. One description that certainly can never be considered true in any way is that it comes close to capturing the magic of the original film, regardless of how much it tries to bring this story to a new generation. It’s far from egregious, and the worst violation is that it is utterly dull and extremely unconvincing, which is certainly cause for us to feel nothing but ambivalence. The lack of willingness to put in any effort results in a film that positions itself as some overly daring, subversive twist on a classical fairytale, when in reality its a bundle of corporate decisions masquerading as a children’s film, featuring performances that are mediocre at the best of times, and a complete disinterest in doing anything beyond the bare minimum. Poor visuals, predictable songs (written by the duo of Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, who have become the go-to composers for the most overwrought, bland lyricism possible) and generally unconvincing filmmaking leads to a film that is bound to be forgotten – and considering the actors who deserve better showcases, such as Zegler and some of the supporting cast, this could not come sooner. It’s a bland, unconvincing and deeply mediocre work that once again points to a clear artistic crisis that has been happening at the studio, and an overhaul of its overall ambitions is long overdue, especially considering they are not even able to effectively rest on their laurels any longer.