It seems to be impossible to discuss contemporary American independent cinema without mentioning Nicole Holofcener, who has been at the helm of some of the most captivating and well-constructed comedies of the past quarter-century, having directed a number of terrific films that all carry the many exceptional traits that make her such an interesting filmmaker. She is also someone who does not work as frequently as her peers, only directing a new film every few years, which makes every one of them an event (although she has been active as a writer, having written two very eclectic and different films between her last film and her most recent on), which seems appropriate for someone who has been as influential a force in contemporary cinema as she has, which is not at all an exaggeration. You Hurt My Feelings is yet another masterful convergence of wit and heartfulness, which are two of the most notable qualities that we find persist throughout her films, and which often define them in ways that allow them to share similar ideas without being repetitive. In this film, Holofcener is telling the story of Beth and Don, a novelist and psychologist respectively who have been together for quite some time, their marriage being best described as more pleasant than passionate, but even this is called into question when Beth accidentally hears that her husband, who has been nothing but supportive over her latest literary venture, is not particularly enamoured with the manuscript he has been praising, which causes an upswing in tension between the couple. A film that is well within Holofcener’s wheelhouse in terms of narrative and scope, and constructed from all the elements that we appreciate from her work, You Hurt My Feelings is yet another triumphant return to the director’s chair for someone who has been the embodiment of both consistency and quality, and is quite simply one of the year’s most captivating, well-constructed comedies, which seems par for the course for the director.

Much like every film Holofcener has made, You Hurt My Feelings is a layered work. There aren’t any plot elements in this film that don’t have some meaning, even if they are only incidental to the central plot. The theme that she is exploring here, at least on the surface, is that of a marriage – she has previously covered the subject before in more subtle ways, but it has not been as much the focus as it is here, at least not in terms of the specific aspects of a marriage being explored. Throughout this film, we watch as the director presents us with a hilarious and often quite provocative depiction of a marriage in decline, focusing on the various catalysts that cause the central couple (as well as those around them) to question their compatibility and whether or not they are truly happy, or just going through the motions. At a first glance, this seems relatively standard, if not entirely obvious – but as we voyage through this story and see how the plot develops through the varying interactions between these characters and those who exist on the periphery, we find that there is a lot of deeper meaning that underpins the story. One of the more important aspects of the film that we notice is that this is not a story that feels like it is heading towards the predictable place where the characters separate before realizing they truly loved each other all along (Holofcener has made it very clear throughout her work that she actively rejects conventional structure in regards to how she develops her characters and the scenarios in which they find themselves), but rather one that shows that a truly strong relationship can weather such storms without becoming hostile to the point where it is unbearable. The film functions as a very deep but also hilariously funny examination of a marriage in crisis, and the efforts these characters go to in order to maintain their sanity and not have the life they have built together crumble in one fell swoop, learning more about each other in this period of tension than they did when they were simply going through the regular routine, which may be consistent but can be quite challenging to overcome when even the smallest of cracks begin to appear.

However, there is much more to You Hurt My Feelings than just this bitingly funny depiction of the marriage and its various trials and tribulations. There is a concept that is often discussed in terms of existential psychology, known as sonder – the realization that every person we pass in our day-to-day lives is experiencing their own rich, vibrant existence, which is a thought that is both intimidating and inspiring, depending on how one looks at it and views their own life in comparison. One of the most compelling aspects of Holofcener’s work is that she never sets out to tell the story of people who are particularly extraordinary or anything other than ordinary people, usually middle-class intellectuals who don’t have any real concerns or worries, outside of the daily frustrations and neuroses that drive their lives. You Hurt My Feelings follows in this tradition in focusing on a pair of characters who are quite simply not all that good at what they do – Beth had a flash-in-the-pan moment with a well-received memoir that has given her an inflated sense of ego that she is somehow on the precipice of writing the proverbial great American novel, whereas Don has grown placid in his attempts to help resolve the problems of his others, to the point where his work seems to be actually doing more harm to their psychological state than good, which is certainly counter-productive to any intention he had when starting in this vocation. As much as our focus is on the marriage at the heart of the film, what makes You Hurt My Feelings so compelling is how it is about two individuals who have chosen to spend their lives together, but who are battling their own personal quandaries alongside it, becoming a wonderfully witty but profoundly moving existential odyssey that is far deeper and more profound than we would initially expect based on a quick glance at the premise, which conceals a much more compelling set of ideas, which Holofcener examines with so much heart and soul, but never neglecting the chance to find the humour in these situations, which is why this film feels so multilayered and captivating in ways that are honestly quite surprising considering how small and intimate it seems on the surface.

While it was not her first flirtation with the mainstream, one of the films that exposed Holofcener to the wider audience was Enough Said, which remains possibly her most popular film, with a genuine argument existing that it may be her best. Regardless of how one feels about this specific discussion, an objective fact that accompanies that film is that Julia Louis-Dreyfus not only gives one of the best performances in one of the director’s films, it is also amongst her very best work, a rare opportunity for the actor to cross over into the medium of film, her experience within it being strangely limited despite her incredible charisma and boundless talents. A decade later, the pair reunite, with Louis-Dreyfus once again taking on the central role in one of Holofcener’s films, and much like their prior collaboration, it is an exceptional film built squarely on Louis-Dreyfus’ bewitching and hilarious performance. It takes a great director to be able to harness the raw energy of someone like Louis-Dreyfus and reconfigure it into something we have never seen from her before, and Holofcener is unquestionably up to the challenge, working closely with her star to create this fascinating and three-dimensional character. Louis-Dreyfus shows an incredible vulnerability and complexity alongside the expected level of humour. The skills she developed over the decades as a comedic actor has stood her in good stead, even in slightly more dramatic work, and while it is neither riotously funny nor deeply sobering, her performance in You Hurt My Feelings is the perfect balance between the two. She is joined by the terrific Tobias Menzies, who has also been doing mostly television for the past decade, and while he is not the obvious choice for the role of a neurotic New York psychologist, he fully commits to the role, and proves to be an exceptional scene-partner for the tremendous Louis-Dreyfus, tasked with this fascinating but deeply challenging character. You Hurt My Feelings also features the deeply underrated Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed in supporting roles, as well as a scene-stealing supporting performance from ever ever-reliable Jeannie Berlin, who is as funny today as she was half a century ago when she started in the business. Holofcener has always had a knack for working with actors, and this film only further solidifies that aspect of her work.

You Hurt My Feelings is a very simple film based around the premise of exploring the importance of those small lies we tell each other, and the impact that such revelations can have when they are found out, both in terms of interpersonal relationships and one’s own psychological state. It is a straightforward concept that is exceptionally well-executed by Holofcener, who is one of the few filmmakers who could take a story such as this and render it absolutely brilliant, removing all sense of cliche and convention from the proceedings. Simplicity has always been something that has motivated Holofcener as an artist, and while she could have easily pursued more ambitious projects, her sensibilities have always veered more towards these intimate stories, which suit her perfectly and seem to be her preference, based on the level of work she puts into these films. You Hurt My Feelings is very similar to most of her previous work, but it is still original in terms of how it approaches certain concepts, which are delivered with precision and honesty by a director whose work is compelling and meaningful in ways that are often quite remarkable. Whether it be the deep compassion she shows for characters that don’t necessarily earn our respect (since they are painfully ordinary, which often makes their journeys so compelling – the director appreciates stories that focus on regular people living their lives), but who are so effortlessly captivating we can’t help but feel connected to them on a deeper level, to the more profound sense of emotional complexity that drives these stories, You Hurt My Feelings is a tremendous film, one that proves just how impeccable Holofcener’s body of work is, as well as showcasing the fact that she continues to be one of our most interesting and thoughtful contemporary filmakers, someone capable of going to extraordinary lengths to tell the most simple but evocative stories all about the various challenges that come with modern life.