A Boy and His Dog had all the qualities a film needs to make it a masterpiece – it has an audacious concept, a funny storyline and effective approach to the execution of its many ideas. Yet, somehow it just isn’t good as it should be, and while it is far from a disaster, it still remains relatively underwhelming, especially considering that this film is supposedly a cult classic – while it does have quite a few merits, and is far from being bad, it is still a relatively dull experience that never quite reaches the peak it knew it could, as well as the brilliance its reputation has seemed to imply it deserves. The sporadic moments of comedic genius and a satirical sense of irony do manage to salvage it from being a complete waste, but not quite enough to elevate it beyond mere mediocrity, occupying a space of truly wasted opportunities. It is a decent film, but one that, with the right amount of effort, could have been a towering masterpiece of the genre, or at least far less of the grating experience it actually turned out to be. Perhaps this criticism is a bit too harsh – ultimately the film wasn’t aiming to be particularly serious, with its intention being one of uninhibited fun, but while proponents of the film do make a convincing case for its brilliance with the defence that it is a misunderstood masterwork, it just doesn’t work nearly as well as it should, and what could’ve very easily been a distinctive piece of New Hollywood science fiction.

Set well into the future after World War IV, A Boy and His Dog (based on a novel by Harlan Ellison, which should already tell you two things: its going to be an inventive story, and also one populated by truly unlikeable characters), concerns Vic (Don Johnson), a young man in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, attempting to survive in a time when simply existing  and being able to make it through the day is a miracle. His only companion in this difficult time is Blood (voiced by Tim McIntire), a wise-cracking sheepdog who has developed the ability to communicate with Vic (who he constantly refers to as “Albert”) through telepathy. The duo have a symbiotic relationship, based on their shared desires: Blood helps Vic satiate his lustful cravings by guiding him towards women, and in return, Vic provides his dog with food, as his ability to communicate has impinged his hunting skills, the two finding kindred spirits in the other and striking up a very close friendship that allows them to survive, even if only barely. They venture in the direction of Overthehill, an idyllic, folkloric region known for its excess and luxury, a stark contrast to the desolate wasteland they occupy now. However, both individuals are towards their wits’ end, and the only person that can help them proves to be each other, especially when the arrival of a mysterious young woman named Quilla June Holmes (Susanne Benton) and her promise of paradise, launches the central duo into a very difficult situation.

A Boy and His Dog just should’ve been a lot better – based solely on the premise, you’d think this would be an offbeat, quirky and lovable comedy about friendship in a tough time – to the film’s credit, it does seem to believe that it is, and it does everything it can to convince the audience that it actually is something very special, but falling slightly short, missing brilliance by a large but still achievable margin. It is a profoundly flawed film, and its numerous problems can all be traced back to the lacklustre execution, which begins in media res and provides absolutely nothing in regards to meaningful exposition, with all aspects of the story that would help situate the audience in the protagonists’ circumstances and allow us the chance to find empathy for these characters and accompany them on their journey. This isn’t even mentioning the fact that it is a film where one half of the central duo is an adorable dog, which would normally be the very indicator of overt success or at least make this worth watching. It is true that the dog is lovable beyond belief, but that’s just not enough to distract from the fact that A Boy and His Dog is pretty atrocious in terms of realizing its terrific premise. What little salvation occurs throughout this film that aids it in becoming something actually watchable is the only aspect that deserves recognition, because it saved an otherwise trite and uncomfortably convoluted film that takes itself a bit too seriously for its own good.

The problem with this film is that it has a very simple premise – considering this occupies the popular but niche market of the post-apocalyptic survival film, a sub-genre that is known for its complexity, the fact that it is narratively very simple should’ve been the most significant merit – unfortunately, the filmmakers take Ellison’s creative novella and turn it into a contrived and scatterbrained attempt at satire, where the jokes don’t land, the dialogue is stilted and absolutely nothing makes sense, but less in the delightful postmodern way, and more like some pages of the script had been lost during the printing process. The film is far too convoluted – there are about a dozen different ideas that underlie this film that could have very easily just been taken away in order to allow for the film’s actual merits – the storyline, the acting and other peripheral qualities – to dominate and make this as enthralling and entertaining an experience as it seems to think it is. There are so many moving parts in A Boy and His Dog, it is hardly surprising (but still deeply disappointing) that none of them actually amount to anything of significance. Credit this to the incompetence of the filmmakers, who choose audacity over discernment, and opt for a more convoluted tale that tries to comment on the entire state of the world through giving its predictions towards what it will entail in the coming decades, without ever saying anything meaningful. There’s no other way to say it – A Boy and His Dog is a dreadfully boring film, and as extreme as this assertion is, we can’t hide the fact that this film is just about as dull as it gets.

At least one element of A Boy and His Dog is somewhat decent – the acting is quite good, especially from a young Don Johnson, whose leading man sensibilities were even potently clear right from the outset of his career. His performance as Vic is a lot of fun – he plays a character that is very different from other similar protagonists, taking on a heroic role, not because of chivalry or anything innocuous, but because he wants to satiate his lust as frequently as possible. He needs sex like an ordinary human being needs food, which makes his subversive performance quite memorable. The star of the film is Tim McIntire, who doesn’t even appear on screen, rather voicing Blood, in a way that ranges from exceptionally exuberant to gloriously droll. Both actors do the best with what they are given, but unfortunately it is not much, and certainly not enough to make them even close to as likeable and endearing as they should have been. No one in this film gives a particularly compelling performance – not even the legendary Jason Robards could be bothered to put in much effort other than a half-hearted delivery and a hint of forced humour here and there. Considering how these characters are supposed to be eccentric and over-the-top, the bland performances from the cast as a whole, save for some remarkably funny moments from McIntire and Benton, don’t do anything to help this film’s lacklustre execution.

Ultimately, A Boy and His Dog is a film I wanted to like. I wish there was some element of it that could be considered a saving grace because while it is a severely flawed film, it had a lot of potential. The film has a good premise, but hardly one that can be considered entirely original, and thus instead of actually bolstering some of its more significant flaws through an effective execution, it opts to just present us with a mediocre science fiction comedy that isn’t all that funny, nor particularly thrilling. A Boy and His Dog isn’t even awful enough to warrant a complete annihilation of its shortcomings – all this film amounts to is some misguided attempts at offbeat humour, and a complete disregard for narrative cohesion, making for truly dull filmmaking. It certainly does have some fans, and it’s status as a cult classic, while not particularly deserving, is certainly understandable. Perhaps a repeat viewing will uncover precisely has given this film the reverie it has received, but for now at least, it is just nothing particularly special, especially considering numerous other films did what this film did, and did it better, which isn’t particularly difficult.

The dog is extremely adorable though.