Truthfully, I don’t know which is the more disappointing aspect of Killing Gunther. Is it the fact that it has such a good premise, but it squanders it by turning it into something that feels like an overlong and dreadfully unfunny sketch that was rejected from Saturday Night Live? Or is it the fact that it has a great concept, and some remarkably talented people involved, but still manages to be a dull, uninspired mess of a film? I went into Killing Gunther with high hopes – even if it proved to be less than it appeared, at least there was the possibility that it would at least be funny, and have the potential to become a cult classic. Unfortunately, everything about this film is just as lifeless as the victims of the titular character, and I have no qualms in criticizing this film, because it had so much going for it, the fact that it wasted absolutely all of it, not even managing to salvage enough to be considered a scrappy underdog of independent comedy means that this was a misguided, unfunny and truly boring experience that I would hope I never have to experience again – and the fact that Killing Gunther came and went without much fanfare is not a statement on its position as an underseen gem, but rather indicative of how it is not worth anyone’s time.

Gunther (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is the world’s most dangerous assassin, serving as a deadly hitman for decades, rising to the ranks of the king of his fellow killers-for-higher. Unfortunately for him, a very jealous young assassin named Blake (Taran Killam) hopes to prove his own mettle as a hitman by killing Gunther, thus taking the title as the assassin that killed the master assassin – for whatever reason, perhaps only for the glory (as if there was actually any real honour in these kinds of societies of hired killers, especially against their own kind – if anything, the John Wick movies emphasize this). He assembles a ragtag group of killers, most of which are hilariously bad at doing what they proclaim to be the world’s experts on – namely killing, often putting themselves and their colleagues at more danger than they pose to their actual target. Over the course of the film, a film crew tracks Blake and his posse as they go in search of Gunther to bring an end to his life and win the respect that comes with doing such a deed. Of course, it would help if they actually knew who Gunther actually was, or didn’t underestimate him, because he is much closer to them than they think, and the only thing more potent than his urge to kill is his intention to have fun and make a fool of his adversaries while doing it.

Killing Gunther has been publicized as being a hitman comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger – and that is honestly more than enough to pique the interests of a fair number of curious viewers, myself included. Schwarzenegger is an enigmatic actor, someone who made his career from oft-parodied, overly-macho stereotypes in a range of action films that ranged from brilliant to absolutely awful, but still imbuing them with a certain charm and gravitas that allows them to endure in the artistic consciousness for decades, thus making him one of the most iconic actors of all time. Unfortunately, as much as Killing Gunther is proposed as a film that allows Schwarzenegger to comment on his own reputation and poke fun at himself, it is all flagrant false advertising, mainly because while this film is centred on Gunther, he remains entirely unseen for the vast majority of the film, with Schwarzenegger only making his entrance in the final act of the film – arguably, the film does get a lot better when he appears, but in order to get to that, we have to endure a large cast of performers who have proven themselves to be talented in the past, giving some of the most uninspired performances of their career, and while the concept in this film was certainly very good, it comes across as excruciatingly dull when there is a complete lack of compelling development to any of these characters who we are supposed to connect with in some way.

Arguably, Killing Gunther would’ve been a much better film had it been focused on the titular character, rather than on several other characters searching for him. The film has an undeniably promising concept – the mockumentary format is certainly used very often, but it still remains the breeding ground for some unique and innovative storytelling, across a number of media, and to take this format into the realm of the action comedy, focusing on a band of assassins, was a daring and bold choice and should’ve been something much better than it actually was. Considering this was the debut directorial feature from Taran Killam, one of the brightest young exports from Saturday Night Live, one would’ve thought he would be more adept at making something that actually manages to come together and be the one thing this film isn’t: funny. There are films that take a taut, unoriginal concept and turn it into something wonderful, whereas a film like Killing Gunther has a great concept, as well as a talented cast, and wastes all of it. Not to mention, the way this film was marketed, to somehow show it as being a comedic vehicle for Schwarzenegger, who was clearly enjoying himself in his very small role, was unnecessarily misleading, and is strikingly dishonest – surely had this film been solely about the trials and tribulations of an aging hitman proclaimed as the king of all assassins would’ve been far more entertaining than what we eventually got?

In all honesty, there is a lot that hypothetically could be said about Killing Gunther – we could note its impressive attempt to comment on the subject of fame, connecting it with the heartless world of hired killers, or we could mention how it approaches the subject with a hilariously dark sense of humour that lends it a gloriously sardonic tone, or we could even just remark how it is great to see an iconic performer like Arnold Schwarzenegger having a good time, returning to his roots in a mindless yet fun action film – yet, none of these is actually all that true. Killing Gunther, as I mentioned before, seems to be a comedy sketch stretched much longer than it should’ve been, a concept that would’ve been incredibly effective had it either remained in the realm of short-form comedy, or actually having some underlying narrative that wasn’t just a series of pointless, episodic moments that seem to be progressing to something deeper, yet never reaching it. Killing Gunther is an uninspired film, an attempt by Killam to make an audacious debut as a director, opting for a more bombastic concept. There really isn’t anything else to say about Killing Gunther other than it has the seed of a great film firmly resting inside it, but wastes every bit of goodwill by being a misleading, unfunny and hopelessly boring attempt at humour that just misses the mark at every possible opportunity.